


The Return of the Wolf

by TessaTheirin



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-10 19:10:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3300461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TessaTheirin/pseuds/TessaTheirin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Raven Lavellan falls ill due to the growing power of the mark on her hand, Solas returns to heal her. *Set after Dragon Age: Inquisition</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Return of the Wolf

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is the first piece of fanfiction I've written in about 6 years. Forgive me for anything canonically incorrect, I worked with whatever information I had at the time. Thanks for reading :)
> 
> THIS IS COMPLETED

The war table was considerably crowded this morning. Pieces were thrown about, each marking an Inquisition opportunity, ally, or situation that needed tending too. While the threat of Corypheus had been eliminated, there were many who were now seeking the Inquisition's aid. It appears Raven Lavellan wouldn't get a break from her duties anytime soon. 

"Smoothing relations between Orlais and Ferelden is particularly important, Inquisitor," Josephine continued scribbling on the parchment she held in her hand. 

"What did King Alistair get himself into this time?" Raven smiled at the ambassador. "It doesn't matter anyway. Josephine, send diplomats and arrange a meeting between Gaspard and Alistair. I'd like this conflict distinguished before it starts another war." 

"At once, your worship," Josephine said. 

"My scouts report suspicious activity in the Emprise du Lion, Inquisitor," Leliana pointed on the map. "I'm concerned its a lingering group of Venatori. While I'm sure their threat is minimal, it still warrants an investigation."

The sound of her advisors became distant. Raven gripped the edge of the table, the room around her spinning uncontrollably. Her left hand ached, the mark searing through her glove. The Inquisitor cried out, falling to her knees as the pain radiated up her arm. It was unlike a pain she had ever felt, like she had stuck her palm into a fire. It tingled and burned, the glow of the mark blinding her. Why was it activating? 

"Inquisitor?" Cullen hurried towards the elf, wrapping his arms around her as se fell unconscious. Raven's head fell back against his shoulder, her whole body slumped against him uncomfortably. He glanced at his colleagues. "I'll bring her to her chambers. Go get a healer! Quick!" 

Josephine ran from the room. Cullen gripped his friend's small face in his hand, tapping at her cheek as hard as he dared. "Inquisitor! Maker, please wake up." her mark continued to flare, the skin around it red and blistering. Josephine needed to hurry before it spread.

Cullen tucked his one arm underneath her knees, the other cradling her head as he lifted her up. Raven's hands lay limp at her side as he carried her to the door. "Open the door please, Leliana." 

The door to her quarters creaked as Cullen laid Raven gently on her bed. Josephine, with a number of capable mages in tow, rushed up the stairs and to his side. The commander wiped the sweat from his brow. "Her condition has not changed. It's possible she's worsened. I cannot tell." 

"The poor dear looks deathly ill," Vivienne announced from the back of the group. 

Dorian shot her a glare before taking a seat beside his friend. He stroked Raven's forehead, pushing strands of sweaty hair back from her pale face. "We will heal her. She wont die, not while I'm here." 

"I hope that is true." Cullen turned to address the Inquisitor's companions. "Come on. Anyone who needn't be here should leave at once." 

~~ 

Solas ran his fingers over the Hart statues, staring down at the moon's reflection in the water. Revisiting the cove in Crestwood brought him great pain. The grief that scarred this place was almost unbearable. The fade no longer brought him the kind of joy it used to. He continued to venture into it's depths almost every night, but on most occasions Solas spent his time revisiting the locations he travelled to with Raven.

She brought him to the most magnificent places--ancient Elven ruins with hidden treasure and history locked inside, calming waterfalls that masked the doors to forgotten Dwarven thaigs, areas where the veil was so thin Solas could feel the tingling of the fade against his skin. Raven was aware of his love for history and Elven culture. He often wondered if she sought out these locations purely for his entertainment.

And what did he ever give her in return? A broken heart--a web of lies so tangled Solas could hardly keep up with it himself. When he had brought her here, she was breathless at its beauty. The truth lingered at his lips, but sharing his burden with Raven would have betrayed everything Solas had accomplished. She did not deserve the weight of his mistakes. This was the path he was destined to walk alone for eternity. 

The ground rumbled and shook beneath his feet as he approached the exit, a gust of pale green wind coating his surroundings. Solas could hear a woman's scream in the distance--oddly familiar and eerily close. The urge to investigate overcame any desire to leave, and he rushed towards the beckoning sounds. His chest tightened as the weight of a thousand worries pressed against it. Solas pleaded with the gods that it was not her. 

He reached a clearing. In the distance rested Haven--intact and deserted. A bright green light rose from the centre of the market. Solas rushed towards the gates, throwing them open with a blast of fire from his palm. A dark haired Elven woman laid sprawled out on the gravel. It was Lavellan. She was curled up in a tight ball, every inch of her body shivering. Solas stepped toward her hesitantly, wondering if it was in fact the woman he loved, or a trick of the fade.

"Vhenan," he whispered, crouching down beside her. Raven's eyes were clenched shut, small groans of pain leaving her mouth. Her left hand, the source of the light, held tightly against her chest. Solas ran his hand across her cheek, his lips pressing gently against her forehead. 

"Solas?" Raven mumbled, her hand gripping his beige tunic. "The mark." 

"I know, ma vhenan." He rested his forehead against hers, a frown tugging at his lips. 

If Solas did not help, her death was certain. The mark was slowly consuming her, the power too much for any mortal to bear. If he was to return to her side, Solas was not sure he could be capable of leaving her once again. The tug on his arm and the broken "I love you" as she begged him to stay had almost broken him before. He had no choice, he refused to leave her to die. 

"All with be well soon, I promise," He whispered against her lips, kissing her once last time. 

~~

"Days have passed and the Inquisitor has yet to open her eyes." Cullen paced across the war room, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck. "Not the mention her injuries--"

"Dorian is more than capable of keeping her medical issues under control," Josephine interrupted. Sleepless nights had plagued them all since Raven had fallen ill, but Cullen's lyrium withdrawal worsened his anxiety. "The mark is far more concerning."

"Josephine speaks the truth." Dorian barged through the war room doors. With a hand on his chin, he continued, "While I have many talents, healing is not one of them. It should shock us all Raven's even lasted this long. We need an expert, but perhaps we should find one that won't break the Inquisitor's heart and vanish into thin air." 

Cullen scowled at the Tevinter mage. "Very helpful." 

"Commander!" A voice called from behind the wooden door before entering. "The Elven apostate has been sighted outside Skyhold's gates." 

Silence blanketed the room, all eyes on their Commander. Cullen took a deep breath, hands balling into fists at his sides. "I want him captured and jailed. Do not let him escape." 

"Now, this should be interesting," Dorian laughed, relief calming his nerves. With Solas here, his best and only friend had a chance at survival. That is, unless the Commander murdered him first. 

A mountain of stairs led down into the dungeon, the stone floors and walls damp and cold to the touch. Josephine rarely came down here, her tasks involving diplomacy instead of punishment, but she did not expect it to be so empty. It wreaked of dust and dirt, two of the cells on right side of the room caved in. Cullen, on the other hand, seemed right at home. The group stopped in front of a cell with two guards perched outside it. The elf inside stood to his feet as they approached. 

"Really, templar?" Solas glared at Cullen. Fire sizzled against the metal bars as he gripped them, anger gaining control of his magic. "You feel it necessary to lock me up in the dungeon like some criminal?" 

"You are no better than one, apostate," Cullen spat. "Why have you returned? Have you caused the Inquisitor's illness?" 

"Was that a serious question?" the elf laughed. 

"I am unsure of what to expect from you after your departure from the Inquisition," Cullen said, folding his arms across his chest. "One thing I know for sure is that you are not to be trusted."

Solas sighed, taking a step backward. "I came to help, nothing more." 

"Yet you were aware we were in need of it," Josephine pointed out.

"And you are aware the Inquisitor's mark grants her full access to the fade. That includes the dreams of others. Have you learned nothing from the breach?"

"I'm afraid Solas is our only option." Leliana emerged, eyeing the elf with a guarded expression. 

"Maker's breath! You must be joking," Cullen spat.

"We must do what needs to be done." She grabbed the keys from Cullen's belt, unlocking the cell. Leliana turned to the Commander, "Have the guards escort him to Lavellan's chambers." 

~~

"This magic is unlike any other. It requires my utmost concentration," Solas explained, seating himself beside Lavellan on the bed. Her condition had worsened since the fade. Her entire body looked thinner, if that were even possible. Cheeks sunken, lips cracked and dry. "Privacy is preferred." 

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck, his lips pulling into a frown as he addressed those tending to the Inquisitor. "Very well. Leave them," he ordered. "And you. If any harm comes to her..." 

Solas nodded. It seemed to be all he required, as Cullen lingered only a moment longer before descending the stairs. He was alone with Raven once more. The reunion Solas had imagined a thousand times in his head was nothing of this sort. In his thoughts she was healthy and happy and more beautiful than before. 

"I am sorry," He whispered, brushing Raven's black hair from her face. Solas placed his opposite hand over her mark, closing his eyes as he began reciting the spell. Bursts of blue light erupted from his palm. The magic healed the sores as it wrapped around her mark. It crawled up her arm, to her face, down to her torso until it reached her toes. Colour returned to Raven's skin, her lungs gasping for breath to fuel her fast beating heart. 

Lavellan's eyes fluttered open, blinking hard against the sun's light. She gasped as the blurred figure beside her came into focus, "Solas?" 

Solas brushed his lips against her forehead to hide the smile that erupted on his face at the sound of her voice. "You are awake, vhenan." 

He handed her the cup of water that rested on her bedside table. She took a few gulps, glancing around the room with wide eyes. She shook her head, "I...I don't. I remember the war room but nothing else..." 

"Do not force the memories," Solas advised. "You are safe. That is what matters."

"Why are you here?" She asked, pulling away from his grasp. "You left. I thought I'd never see you again." 

Solas paused, folding his hands in his lap. "The circumstances of your illness were...unique. It was only I who could heal you." 

"That's it?" Raven's voice broke. "That's the only reason?" 

"Ar lath ma, vhenan." Solas lifted her chin. "That is the reason." 

Solas' face shined with a happiness Raven hadn't seen upon his face since their first kiss in the fade. It was forceful and passionate--nothing she'd ever experienced before. The rest that followed were hesitant and slow, with a gentleness in his hands as he touched her hips. On many occasions Solas attempted to turn away--afraid and guarded. When he left her at the cove was the only time Raven's pleas were disregarded. 

Raven had been embarrassed. Embarrassed from the confession of love that burst from her lips as he walked away, from the realization that she was not enough. She was lonely, overwhelmingly so, from the connection to the Dalish that had been ripped away by Solas' selfish truthfulness. Raven was unsure she could forgive him. But despite her pain and her anger, she wanted nothing more than to kiss him. 

"I need to understand, Solas," She begged. "You falsely promised me answers, then you disappeared without a word." 

"The path I must follow is not one I'd wish on my worst enemy." Solas frowned. "You deserve better." 

"You repeat those words but what makes you believe you know any better than I?" Lavellan asked, pushing his hand away from her face. He didn't resist, returning it to his lap. 

Her eyes stared at him expectantly, but Solas had no words to satisfy her. Raven did not know the extent of his identity, and he would go to great lengths to ensure his secret. The Inquisitor had the entire weight of Thedas resting on her shoulders, she did not need the burden of his mistakes. The love she felt would only blind her to the dangers of his journey if she were to know the truth. 

Solas remained silent, avoiding eye contact. Raven sighed, straightening her back as she returned to professionalism. "Very well. We should call for the others. No doubt I've missed quite a lot. And knowing my companions, they're dying of curiosity." 

~~

"I'm so pleased to see you awake, Inquisitor," Josephine smiled as she climbed the stairs into her chambers. 

"As am I," Leliana appeared from behind the ambassador. 

Her companions and advisors continued to show their happiness at her awakening. Each showed their affection in different ways. A bouquet of beautiful lilies from Josephine and Leliana rested on her bedside table. Cullen kept at a professional distance, giving Raven a nod of approval. Dorian sat by her side, comforting the small elf with an embrace. Varric talked her ear off with stories of the shenanigans Sera had gotten herself into at the tavern a few nights earlier. Raven appreciated every one of their gifts, but her eyes remained on Solas, who stood across the room from her with guarded eyes and a stiff posture. He refused to look at her--to even acknowledge her existence. 

"Are you alright, my dear?" Vivienne inquired, her shoulders pulled back and chin held high. "You look absolutely dreadful." 

"I will be, I think," Raven smiled, ignoring her condescending tone. "I would like to know what happened, though. Solas?"

The sound of his name from Raven's lips caught his attention. His grey eyes met hers, almost unrecognizable. "The mark appears to be growing stronger. While you have shown great strength and focus while wielding it, Inquisitor, I'm afraid the lack of knowledge of the orb you possess has led to your unconsciousness." 

"Is there a solution?" Cullen asked. 

Solas glanced back at the Inquisitor, a frown tugging at his lips as he spoke, "I must teach her to control the mark. That is the only solution." 

"Oh," Raven said, eyes glued to the crackling fire behind Solas, watching as the fire licked at the stone above it. She was unsure of how to feel. A part of her was relieved he'd be staying, but another was afraid. Afraid to trust him again, that her feelings would resurface as quickly as they originally formed. "If that is the only option then..."

She returned her attention to Solas. "You are welcome to your old quarters if you wish."

"If you do not mind, Inquisitor, I must prepare for your training." With a nod of his head, Solas turned and descended the stairs, an eagerness in his steps. 

Raven breathed a sigh of relief as he disappeared from view. Most of her companions followed suit until only her advisors remained, no doubt with the intention of discussing diplomacy and strategy, a topic Raven was most definitely not in the mood for. Covering her face with her hands, she collapsed back onto the pillows. 

"By the Dread Wolf! What have I gotten myself into?" Raven mumbled through her fingers.  
~~

Raven attempted to focus, to feel the pressure of the mark against her hand and the power trapped inside. Solas ordered her to make a small rift a few feet ahead of them. She raised her hand, a beam of green light shooting from her palm. The mark erupted, a wave of energy knocking them backwards against Skyhold's towering brick walls. 

"Shit!" Raven cursed, rubbing the back of her head. Her bun had become loose, strands of black hair falling around her face. She glanced at Solas, who was eying her with a grin on his face. "What?"

"You are a talented mage, Lethallan. The first to your clan. I did not anticipate this much difficulty teaching you," He admitted. 

"I'm...distracted. That's all." Raven redirected her gaze toward the snow-capped mountains, heat creeping up her face. Her breath quickened as Solas approached, the snow crunching beneath his feet. 

"That is enough for today," Solas said, brushing his hand against hers as he turned toward Skyhold's entrance. 

"Solas?" Raven's voice was small, just a whisper in his ear as she grabbed his arm--a position they had found themselves in numerous times before. Solas wished to flee, to be away from her before the secrets threatened to spill from his lips. He remained silent instead. 

"I..." She took a deep, shaky breath. "I need to know what happened, why you left. Was it something I did? Did I offend or anger you in any way because--"

A gasp escaped Raven's mouth as Solas interrupted her with a kiss--passionate and deep. He enveloped her in an embrace, the warmth of his body protecting Raven from the chill of the wind. The moment Solas pulled away she yearned for more, the ache swelling inside her chest. It had dulled in the months he had disappeared, but his presence caused it to resurface. Having Solas so near with the knowledge that she could not have him pained Raven beyond imagining. 

"This is not fair," She whispered against his lips. Raven pulled away, her bottom lip quivering. "It's cruel to use my feelings toward you against me this way." 

"It was not my intention, vhenan," Solas frowned, reaching out to touch her hand. Her arm jolted back, the distance between them growing. 

"Vhenan," Raven repeated, the taste of the word sour in her mouth. It no longer held the same meaning, reminding her only of his contradictory nature. "If you truly loved me you wouldn't have walked away."

Solas shook his head, "Not always true." 

"Then why did you leave, Solas?" Raven's voice rose, her face contorted in anger and frustration. "The least I deserve is an answer!" 

"I cannot tell you." Solas' voice remained levelled. "You would not thank me." 

"Bullshit!" Raven pushed against his chest. Solas did not retaliate. He simply hung his head, unable to watch the pain he had caused. She continued, her voice breaking with each breathless word, until his back was pressed against the cold stone wall. "Please." 

Solas watched as a tear fell from her face and soaked into her shirt collar, a wave of nausea and sadness crashing over him. The secrets he kept were to protect her--to keep her from hurting, but once again his decisions had the opposite of the intended effect.

"My name..." He trailed off. Raven shifted her gaze toward him, his voice catching her attention. Her palms still rested against his chest, her eyes urging him to continue. "It is not Solas. I apologize for the trickery, for I have not been honest about my true identity." 

Her body stiffened. "What is it?"

Solas' shoulders sunk against Skyhold's wall, a defeated expression upon his face. He didn't dare look at her, his gaze instead turning to his folded hands. "Fen'harel." 

Fen'harel. Raven's chest tightened at the mention of that name. It could not be possible--she refused to acknowledge it as truth. her breath became erratic, catching in her throat as she tried to speak. "The Dread Wolf."

Solas did not deny or confirm her accusations. It as all Raven needed. A thousand emotions overwhelmed her at once, demanding to be felt--hurt, betrayal, anger. There wasn't a word of truth that had left his mouth. What we had was real, he had told her. It was not, for something cannot be real if it is based on lies. Raven wanted to cry and to scream and to disappear from sight. Heat exploded throughout her body, fire tingling at her fingertips. 

"Leave," Raven demanded, voice breaking. "Please, Solas." 

Solas did not argue. Once he disappeared from sight Raven collapsed on the ground, the heat fading inside her veins until the chill of the wind was all she felt. She tucked her knees up to her chest, curling herself up into a ball while she cried. 

~~

"The Inquisitor won't survive the night," Cullen sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. He and Leliana stood side by side at Skyhold's doors. "We can't leave her out there." 

"She knows that," Leliana argued. "Let her heal. I will keep an eye on her." 

"Someone needs to help her work through it." Varric appeared behind the advisors. "You don't just get over this kind of thing."  
"Perhaps I could try...if there is no other option," The Commander shifted his feet as he fumbled over his words. 

"Curly, I wouldn't trust you with this. You might make things worse with your awkwardness," Varric laughed. "Let me handle this." 

The dwarf approach his friend. It was unsettling, seeing the Inquisitor like this. Raven was a strong woman--trained from birth to rule her brave Dalish kin. Varric hated to admit it, but he was always a little intimidated by her. With Hawke it was different. She was the Champion, of course. But long before that she was a Ferelden refugee, an older sister, a caring daughter, a dear friend. In this state--with tear-stained cheeks and swollen eyes--Raven, too, was Varric's friend. 

Varric sat beside her, close enough that her warmth eased the bite of the wind. He said nothing, simply sat. There were no words to say. Raven barely acknowledged his presence, only slid her freezing cold hand over to his. Varric held it tightly. Memories resurfaced of Hawke, locked inside her bedroom with a bottle of wine after Fenris had left her. 

"He lied to me, Varric," Raven spoke--voice scratchy, throat sore. "He lied to me about...everything. How do I forgive that?"

"Shit. As much as I want to, I can't help you with that." Varric stood to his feet. "But, if you're looking to forget, well, you've come to the right dwarf."

"What are you talking about?" Raven wiped the remaining tears from her cheeks. It was unprofessional to cry in front of her companions. 

"The tavern." Varric walked backward toward the wooden building, laughter erupting from within. The soothing glow of the candlelight that seeped through the cracks enticed her. "You up for a round? On me, of course. Maybe Curly can win back some of his dignity in Wicked Grace." 

~~ 

The alcoholic buzz eased the ache in Raven's chest. It was an anchor--a constant reminder of the pain that would greet her in the morning. With a heavy head and warm, flushed cheeks, Raven downed the last of the bitter liquid in her cup. Iron Bull had been more than eager to pass drinks her way all night. Raven drank them, although unsure of its contents. Raven left the tavern, her unsteady feet guiding her toward her quarters

The shuffling of papers echoed throughout the throne room, overpowering her snoring companions. Raven's heart slammed against her chest. Solas had stayed up later than she anticipated. With his love of the fade, she assumed his nights would end rather early. She hovered in the doorway, watching as he organized his paperwork. 

Solas moved with swiftness and certainty--not unlike an intricate dance. Before, Raven would have never describe him as graceful, but it was the truth. His movements were mesmerizing. Raven leaned against the doorframe. Her knowledge of his true identity brought light to his past actions. It all made sense, and made her rethink the ideologies that had been instilled inside her since birth. It frightened her and tore her apart. Raven had always been proudly Dalish. From the start, it was her intention to return to clan Lavellan. But now, it was impossible. She knew too little, questioned too much. 

"Enjoying yourself, Lethallan?" Solas brushed the dust from the thick, worn out books he'd pulled from the library. Clasped hands rested against his back as Solas turned to face her. 

"Oh, I-I..." Heat creeped up Raven's neck, further reddening her cheeks. "I was just returning to my room." 

"Very well." Disappointment flashing across his face--disappearing as quickly as it appeared, a blank expression replacing it. It puzzled Raven. Could it be possible that Solas wanted her to stay? Had he kept himself awake in hopes that she would visit him? Raven was hurt by Solas' confession, even more so than was possible to describe, but it had been foolish to assume Solas was not hurting as well. 

"Solas?" Raven took a single, wobbly step into the room, grasping onto the ladder beside her for stability. 

Solas wrinkled his nose, eyes returning to the stack of books on his desk. "You are intoxicated, Lethallan. Perhaps we should have this discussion when you have rested." 

"I'm fine." Raven straightened her back. Releasing her hold on the ladder, she bravely attempted to take another step toward him. It took only a moment for the room to begin spinning, her feet fumbling underneath her. Solas as quick to steady her, hands grasping gently onto her waist. "Alright I lied."

Solas shook his head, a small grin tugging at his corners of his lips. He guided Raven over to his chair, hands switching from her hips to her arm, sliding his fingers softly down her arm to rest in her palm. It wasn't Solas' intention to become so entangled in this relationship. He was never supposed to return--her illness an unforeseeable complication. Although, he did not regret it. In fact, a weight so heavy it had begun to crush him had been lifted from his chest the moment Solas spoke the truth. 

"Vhenan," he breathed, voice barely a whisper. "You are so beautiful."

Raven's breath quickened at his words. She gazed down at their clasped hands, avoiding his gaze. The warmth of his palm was comforting, calming. "Why did you lie to me?" Her voice was small--unsure and scared. "If you had told me the truth from the beginning maybe I..."

Raven untangled her hand from his, a defeated sigh leaving her mouth. "You have broken my trust and my heart. You had to have known the depth of my feelings for you, that I would have followed you anywhere."

Solas thought for a moment, sitting atop his desk. The answer was complicated, and he was unsure of whether there truly was an answer. "You deserved better. It does not matter, vhenan. Nothing I say will ease your pain." 

The liquid courage in Raven's veins gave her the push she needed to stand to her feet, eyes focused upon Solas' face. His lips parted in anticipation as she drew close. Raven brushed her lips slowly and softly against his. Hands grabbed her hips to steady her legs, fingers digging into the exposed skin beneath her shirt. The moment was over far too quickly, Raven drawing a long, shaky breath. 

"I love you," she admitted, eyes meeting his with newfound confidence. "Just tell me the Dalish do not know the truth. I know you, Solas. You are not the villain they paint you to be. The name you carry does not matter to me." 

"You already know the truth." Solas ran his thumb across her face, tracing the pattern of the vallaslin Raven had once worn proudly, bright against her pale face. Raven was aware of the lost elvhen history, knowledge the Dalish would never except and never understand.

"If you are to leave once I have learned to control the mark, I am going with you," Raven stated, determined. 

Solas chuckled, unsure of whether this was a dream--a trick of the fade. Could it truly be possible? Was happiness attainable for someone who had destroyed so much? He was correct, this he was certain, that Raven did not deserve him. Raven was brilliant and strong, lacking the ignorance of her people while simultaneously holding onto every beautiful aspect of them. "Perhaps. It is something I must consider. Now you must rest, vhenan. There is much I have yet to teach you."


End file.
